Protecting yourself from Toxic People

In the last blog we were able to identify some characteristics of toxic relationships. Now that we have

established that, how can we protect ourselves from people who we have deemed to be toxic?

1. Avoid getting drawn into their drama- for example, if someone always talks about a mutual

friend, instead of asking “What happened”, say something like “I’m sorry to hear that”.

2. Delay response time or make yourself unavailable – instead of making yourself available all the

time only make yourself available during certain times. Then only engage during those times.

3. Use positive affirmations- a simple affirmation such as “this behavior is a reflection of them, not

me” may be helpful. These types of affirmations can help you from “buying into” their

comments too quickly.

4. Directly tell them that you do not like their behavior- for example if someone talks over you tell

them you do not like it. This may seem like a foreign concept but sometimes people are

unaware of their behavior. Informing them of their behavior may actually give them an

opportunity to better themselves.

5. Don’t try to fix them – addressing their behavior is one thing, but taking them on as a project is a

whole different animal. If you do try to fix them you will end up draining all of your energy PLUS

take on responsibility for something that isn’t yours!

6. Say no and walk away – during the most toxic times sometimes the best solution is to disengage

entirely.

7. Stay grounded- in order to protect yourself from hyper focusing on their negativity and prevent

the onset of panic, try some skills. You can practice deep breathing, be mindful of other things in

your surroundings, or even play with a fidget toy!

8. Talk to someone you trust – your support people may help you after a difficult interaction and

provide insight into the situation.

It is always important to have realistic expectations of change in people. If you assume for change to

happen quickly you may be let down. Having expectations of how quickly change can take place in

others is bound to lead to disappointment. Obtaining professional advice from a therapist is always a

great idea when it comes to setting boundaries with those we deem as toxic. Come see one of our

trained mental health providers today at Sugar Loaf Mental Wellness!

Victoria Britton, LCSW