Signs of a Toxic Friendship

First let us define what the word toxic means. Toxic by definition means very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way.  When we speak about toxic relationships these are relationships that have mutated themselves into something that has the potential, if not corrected, to be extremely harmful to our well-being. These relationships are not necessarily hopeless but do require substantial and difficult work if they are to be changed into something healthy. So how do we figure out if a friendship or relationship classifies as toxic. Below are a few characteristics that most toxic relationships have in common:

1.     They tend to set standards for you that they always fall short of themselves.

2.     They discourage your growth.

3.     They make you feel ashamed of your struggle rather than helping you out of it.

4.     You have to suppress your positive emotions or personality around them.

5.     They try to manipulate you to meet their own needs.

6.     They don’t apologize or take responsibility for any of their wrong doings.

7.     They don’t care about or acknowledge your feelings.

8.     They get jealous of you, your successes, or positive friendships that you have.

9.     They are controlling or possessive of you.

10.  You seem to be always there for them but they never seem to be there for you.

Do not let toxic people live in your head rent free. Raise the rent and kick them out. How? Stay tuned for my next blog.

Victoria Britton, LCSW